The Basics of Ted
Ted Gernhart, also known as Solid Ted and Pawnee Plissken, is the biological son of Satan, and adoptive son of Devin. Ted's location is in constant flux, but a good old fashioned saying can be best used to find him.
- "Where ever the guy you're trying to find goes, there may or may not be a trail of evidence that could or could not be circumstantial that may or may not lead you to a previous location that he may or may not have occupied, which may or may not be located 'in a city, jungle, desert, or popular fast food burger chain. As such, treat every object in front of you as a very important piece of evidence that may or may not be important. So yeah, try your best to find him."
Such quotes are an example of what we are missing in today's world of phones, middle school romantic relationships, and of course Donald Trump.
The Not so Basics of Ted
Little is known of Ted now, but much of his past has been revealed within the last decade, especially the touchy topic of his origin.
Origins of Ted
Though long, complicated, and slightly confusing, the origins of Ted Gernhart have now been successfully traced back to what may be the most important project ever. Les Parents Terribles.